I've been here 5 weeks so far.
It's been hard. Most days I'd rather be somewhere else.
Must just continue putting one foot in front of the next. Do the next thing.
I can't make it through a day without crying. (I'm not normally like this!)
I sure hope this doesn't last much longer!!
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I shouldn't leave it at that. I have enjoyed quite a few things since being here. And being so low is definitely bringing me closer to God, as I'm desperately clinging to Him to give me strength to make it through each day. My prayer life has been revitalized, shall we say... So I guess that's good.
I was struck the other day by the idea of suffering. Not being Anglican or Catholic, I'd never really paid much attention to the idea of Lent, or given anything up for it. But I suppose I could apply myself to learn whatever it is you're supposed to learn through suffering. I guess this counts. (It feels a little like cheating, since I'm not being persecuted for my faith or trying to live through cancer or something...)
“Oh Annie, Annie will surviveOh as long as she knows how to loveI know she will stay aliveShe’s got all her life to liveShe’s got all her love to giveand she'll surviveAnnie will survive
ReplyDelete(hey-hey)”
[not to make light or anything, but some days you just need a theme song]
I understand. There are so many things going on for you and so many adjustments you are making. It's no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Have you ever seen one of those "stress surveys" where you answer questions about changes in your life? Things like moving, change in relationship status (good or bad), changing jobs, etc. all send the "stress number" through the roof! So, it's not surprising that you'd still be low. I wish you weren't, but don't beat yourself up over the fact that you are feeling lousy.God is good even when all around seems like it's not.
ReplyDeleteOh Annie - I will pray for you now in a different way. Thanks for honestly sharing where you're at. I'm so thankful to hear how you're seeing God changing your prayer life and dependance on Him through this....I know that the lost and overwhelmed feeling is still every present. Hang in there.... God is giving you a deeper understanding that you will be able to use to minister to other's down the road. Wish I could give you a hug, and for the record - it's OK to cry every day. Some phases of life are meant for that!
ReplyDeleteCommon wisdom among my friends is that when you move, life is terrible for three months. And then it gets better. I've had a number of friends move out of the area and report back that it did in fact get better right about the three month mark, and knowing that that was going to happen made it easier to get through. Let me know if you need to meet some friendly faces - I know a lot of people in the DC area.
ReplyDeleteDear Annie
ReplyDeleteI like your blogs.God's thoughts is higher than our thoughts. What God allow to happened , He must has a special purpose. It is hard to adjust to DC life!! It will get better !!
You can come over for my home made meal or just chat. I was waiting to hear from you. come over to CBCCP ( www.cbccp.org )on 3/29, Sat. to see your child hood friend, Josephine. Isabel will be there. Our church is having our 20th anniversary celebration . I am making egg tarts , and decorating a cake. have you had my egg tarts ?
you know...I don't think you are cheating.
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